Why does my dad hate me but love my brother

Growing up as the younger brother of 2, it seems normal that my Dad is strict and caned us if we make mistakes. 

Now that I'm older and a father, I've realized that there are some things about my father that I understand better about the love-hate relationship with our dad. Why would your dad hate you?

Every dad is different, and most dads punished you because they are angry over your behavior. Dads are usually mentally and physically exhausted from work, taking care of the relationship with their wife, and therefore easily triggered by anything undesirable from their children. This does not mean your dad hates you forever.

Major Reasons Why Your Dad Hates You

If you want to know what your dad thinks about you, read this article. We've collected some of the most common reasons why your father hates you.

1. He's afraid you'll end up like him.
2. He wants to protect you from getting hurt (e.g. drug addiction).
3. He misses the good old days (expectation of you obeying his words).
4. He had a bad day.
5. He’s trying to teach you a lesson.
6. He misunderstood your intention.
7. He got confused due to poor memories.
8. He’s angry.
9. He regrets having kids.
10. He wishes he'd never met you.

Your dad hates you because he thinks you've forgotten about his words. He remembers everything else except his family. He doesn't remember things like birthdays, anniversaries, and holidays. He forgets what he had for breakfast. And he forgets what he did yesterday. But he still loves you.

There are many things for your father to remember. He needs to remember where he puts his keys or why he went out shopping. He needs to take care of his wife and doesn't even have time for his own health. He'll tell you he feels fine. But deep down inside, he knows he's getting old.

The good news is that most fathers show both hate and love, like many family relationships. Even if your dad won't ever love you, you can live a happy life without him. 

Is It Normal For Dad To Dislike You?

Your parents are there for you no matter what, even when you don’t deserve it. 

In fact, according to a study conducted by the University of Michigan, nearly half of teens say their parents dislike them. Therefore it is normal for your dad to dislike you and also normal for your dad to like you. While it’s normal to feel hurt and upset over your parent’s disapproval, it doesn’t mean you’re doing something wrong. 

Our parents want the best for you and will do anything to make sure you succeed. But sometimes, they might not like you. Sometimes, they might think less of you because of something you did or didn’t do. And sometimes, they might just dislike you.

When I grew up with my brother, my dad used to cane my older brother while making sure I am careful not to anger him.  He never really told me why he didn't like us sometimes, but it wasn't because he didn't care about me. I think he cared very much. So, even though he might not show it, I knew he did.

And one thing I understand is there can be many reasons why your dad can hate you for a moment of anger.

My dad is a great guy. He is funny and capable in his trade. So, what can a child do when their dad hate them?

What Do You Do When Your Dad Hates You?

We all know how frustrating it can be to talk to our parents. But what do we do when they hate us? And what happens when they don’t like something we say or do? We’re talking about dad here because there are many dads out there who seem to dislike everything their children do.

If you find out that your father doesn’t like you, here are some tips to help you deal with it.

1. Accept What Is Real

Sometimes, we don’t realize our parents dislike us until much later. Maybe they never told us outright. Maybe they tried to ignore it. Either way, it’s important to accept reality.

2. Ask Yourself Why

The next step is to ask why your dad dislikes you. Was it something you did? Something you didn’t do? Did you fail him somehow? Are you too different from him? There are many possible reasons why your father doesn’t like you.

The relationship between a father and children is complicated. It’s downright ugly sometimes. But there are ways to mend fences as long as both sides want to get along better.

The good news is that most fathers love their kids unconditionally; they just might not always show it. So, if your father doesn’t like you, he might be disappointed in you. He might think less of you. Or maybe he thinks you’re lazy or disrespectful. Whatever his reasons, he might not approve of your actions.

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